Is Yellowstone actually yellow? Whenever you see it on TV it’s
either covered in snow or Bison shit. Yellowstone is a volcano, which produces sulphur
which is yellow. I am looking at Yellowstone, I am staring into the sulphur
ridden abyss. No need for larva the smell will kill me. How are those teeth so
yellow? I can’t stop looking though. It’s like watching plastic surgery documentaries.
The problem is I keep having to talk to him. This is the torture that we must
endure at the beginning of the year. Once again it’s like our own private
torture of useless crap that we really don’t need to know. We all spend the day
watching the clock and wondering who will be the first to fall asleep. We’re
also forced to work with people. This week I was actually told to stand up,
turn to the person next to me then...hug them. I did not hug. I do not hug. I
displayed my pen like a weapon and made my feelings very clear. Apparently at
this time of year we all suffer from some very specific, work related Alzheimer’s.
This leads to higher management telling us what we did last year.
“Holy fuck we had students, you are shitting me. We had TWO
inspections. TWO? Wow I would never had known if you hadn’t fucking told me”
Clasping my pen its one of those occasions where I would
consider my own death before others. It would just take too long to work my way
through to the bastard at the front as he attempts to get us to turn to the
right and massage the person’s shoulders. Fucking touch me and I will crush
your oesophagus with my note pad.
I wouldn’t mind the constant reminders of what I did last
year if it was done in a more exciting way. If senior management appeared to
walk out of a blue police call box, I’d spurt geek everywhere and my mind would
be distracted enough thinking of playing with my sonic screwdriver at home to
consider the insult that I was suffering a debilitating brain disease. It’s not
just the past that management are interested in it’s also the future. What are
we going to do this year?
Well all those things that we agreed at the end of last year
because let’s face it if I’ve turned up 2 weeks before the students arrived
with no clue what I’m doing I wouldn’t be employed. We’ve had this meeting
already. So it’s not even the future. It’s still the past. It’s still repeating
what we did last year.
“Oh my god! Is that what I have to do? I had no idea. I have
never EVER heard this all before”
These conferences all require us to work with others hence Yellowstone.
The death breath is circling the room. I have placed a seat between us to keep
some distance and yet he leans over. I choke down my vomit and the quality of
my answers depletes as I now think about crying in the shower and scrubbing
with a Brillo pad.
I’m keeping this short because I must now go and do this.
